Mrs Pannalal and the Candy Corner

I went to this candy shop the other day. While there, we had this slight incident with an attendent, which was quickly resolved. We all know rural haryanvis stopped evolving mentally and socially around the time of early neanderthal man, so I've stopped blaming them for any service deficiencies. Shown below are two skulls, one of early neanderthal man, about 230,000 years old and the other 10 years old. Do note the similarities.

















Specifically note the stubbornly jutting jaw and that there isn't much space for the brains.

Anyway, it was here that we met Mrs. Pannalal, probably another rural haryanvi, who was supposedly the Shop Manager. She appeared to be around 55 years old. I would have understood if she was the secretary to the personal assistant of the junior janitor... but Shop Manager? Understandably, I was upset, as the issue with the assistant involved my daughter, he had been a trifle rough with her. The problem came not with the assistant but with Mrs Pannalal. The conversation goes like this:

Mrs. Pannalal: "You know, parents lose track of their children here"
Me: "We were looking at her"
MP: "I'm the mother of a defence officer you know, so I'm always right"
Me: "but but..."

MP: "We face the problem of children in this shop... destructive little things"
Me: "We were looking at her"
MP: "I'm an ex Montessori teacher you know, so I'm always right"
Me: "but but..."

MP: "You're a father now, you mustn't do these kind of things"
Me: "But there was this guard..."
MP: "I've been doing this for 15 years you know, so I'm always right"
Me: "but but..."

Someone should have told her 'you're an ancient artifact now. don't talk so much or you'll crack up and fall into smelly little pieces'.

MP: "You should be more careful"
Me: "We were looking at her"
MP: "I'm menopausal you know, so I 'm always right"
Me: "but but..."

Anyway, thats how the 'conversation' went. The only positive point in her favor would probably be that she is a large benefactor of the kaajal industry, judging by the two thick black rings carefully applied on the front side of her head (can't call it a face anymore... scarred visage perhaps?). I'm also wondering what she's been managing for the last 15 years... Saddam's 'friendly neighbourhood dictator' program? It certainly looked like that.

I'm sure Dr. Montessori (1870 - 1952) would turn over in her grave, god rest her soul, had she heard Mrs Pannalal's tall claims. I shudder to think of all those poor children she must have bullied and beaten up. (whack) "the teacher is?" (whack) "always right" (whack) "who's always right?" (whack) the teacher (whack)

I happened to mention the word 'skewed' and she went red! Huffing and puffing, stomping and stamping, she stormed away. Later we found that the old crone hadn't heard of the word, and this supposedly educated, montessori teacher, mother of a defence officer (poor chappie, fighting militants must have been preferable), customer service expert for 15 years, thought i was saying 'screwed'. Then again, the hearing does deteriorate at that advanced age or perhaps it was wishful thinking in classic denial.

I wonder why people pay peanuts when they are always assured of getting monkeys for the price. Exotic, aged monkeys with kohl lined eyes perhaps, even with degrees... but arrogant, psychotic, uneducated monkeys nonetheless.